Twilight Labyrinth

this thing from the past is unrelenting.
there’s this ever-question of how to kill the (un)dead.  and surprisingly enough, mythology has this uncanny way of ringing true in ‘real’ life.

allow me to illustrate my point.

HOW TO KILL THE (UN)DEAD

1. Drive a stake through it’s heart.
Well, for the more modern, less morbid, yet as excruciating of this process, we can simply say, FEEL THE PAIN.  Live in it. Bask in it.  Don’t fucking run away from it simply because you’re just delaying inevitable agony.
When you feel the pain in your chest, like someone’s stabbed you in the heart, really feel it. the degree of pain really varies for different people.  There are times that you’ll feel the air knocked off your system, or a pain so excruciating that you begin to wonder how it is possible that you are still alive and feeling it, often times, it’s a pain that make you want to tear through your chest to grab a hold of your heart and just squeeze it.  My advice is: DO IT.  No, don’t scalpel it, just pound on it like crazy with your fist.  I bet you’ll have a very ugly bruise after.  But then again, no war is won without a battle scar.

2. Cut off its head.
This can be a little tricky.  How do you consciously not think about someone (or something) without actually thinking about him/her.  Well, think of this, if you don’t think about someone, that someone ceases to exist in your universe.  Which is great.  Coz moving on will be so much easier that way.  Trust me.

3. Expose it to sunlight.
The truth shall set you free. So whatever it was that was the ultimate cause of the the pain, (ie. break-up, wanting somebody back, etc.) simply deal with it. Face it.  There’s no better way to take down the enemy than by looking them straight in the eye.  Face the truth. Live with it. Get on with it. Move on. Get over it.

anyway, streak of brilliance over.  let me now start on with eating that huge bag of potato chips for breakfast.

last few words… i’m going to bora tomorrow. ciao!

que malas!

driving along SLEX past midnight, i’m less than a kilometer away from my exit when suddenly i realized that my car won’t shift gears, naturally i tried to see what was wrong, only to find out that my car won’t start. the engine went dead.

kaplunk.

just like that. good thing i had the presence of mind to maneuver it to the side of the hiway. wary of the speeding cars and the possibility of an accident, i tried for several minutes to start it. nada. i had to get out and pop the hood to see what was wrong.

anyway, i had to have it towed to caltex. tsktsk. from there, i had to ask my driver to tow the car all the way home. in the series of unfortunate events, the rope used to tow my car broke. it was almost 3am at that time.

when i got home, everyone was asleep and when i kessed my dad, he was kinda grumpy about me coming home way past curfew. hello?! as if i wanted THAT to happen. i was too exhausted to even care. after hitting the shower and fixing my bed, i was lying awake past 4. too bothered to even get a wink. ugh!

no wonder people despise friday the 13th.

obviously, not mine.

tonichi’s getting married tomorrow!!! and seriously, i’m super excited.
got home from the parlor today. had my nails done, hot oil and massage. the works. i even had my eyebrows done. hahah!  considering i haven’t really pampered myself lately… hmmm. this is a major feat.

i’m proud to say, i bought my first pair of janilyn shoes. so un-me.  but i’ve been eyeing this pair of gorgeous red shoes… needless to say, i’m wearing them tomorrow.  the wedding’s the perfect excuse for that purchase. HAH!  then i got comments from my mom and sister about my fantabulous pair of nine west shoes.  they’re also red.  actually nicer than the ones i just bought… hmmm… worn them once or twice.  but hey, i think this one suits my dress better.

and my dress… hmmm. dare to be me. that’s all i can say.

but what can i do? look my best, right? i mean, tonichi’s a great friend (and an almost ex.) hahaha! plus there will be long-time friends who are just as baffled as me.  oh, no. don’t ask. i’d have to use a whole whiteboard to illustrate the complexities and complications of the whole damn picture.

given my perpetual singlehood-ness and the presence of other parties…

long story. but as i said, i should look my best.

anyway, it’s gonna be a really great celebration, a sort of reunion with highschool people. and i’m so looking forward to it.

nope. no date for me. i don’t think i’m allowed to bring one. and even if i was, there’s nobody to bring anyway.   i think it’s more fun going to these occasions alone. no pressure and nobody to ‘take care of.’

anyway, that’s it for now. gotta hit the mall to go buy  the couple’s wedding present.

and i know just what to get them. *wink*

there’s a little less ‘me’ in my life right now.

a little more ‘others.’

it’s not as bad as it sound but then again i know that i have to find a way to take care of myself and my needs. i’m pretty damn sure i’m kinda lost.

there are a few itty-bitty things i’d like to do but it seems that i can’t find people to do it with. travel.  a simple trip to boracay is much appreciated.  though i’ve got conflicting reactions from friends.  wish my parents could trust me enough to travel alone.

seems like i did a little bit of ’sacrifice’ this holy week.  didn’t go to the beach. didn’t hang out with friends.  it’s nice for a change that i spent my time with my family. it’s sad though that my mom’s leaving for boracay tomorrow and my sister is leaving for the same gorgeous beach the week after.  and the irony of it all, they don’t like to get a tan or sun-burnt.  but i do.

i love the beach. i’d love to get a tan.  there are some invites i had to decline because i know that my parents won’t permit me to go.  simply because i’d be going with people from the opposite sex and they don’t know those people quite well yet.  yeah. sucks to be me.

i bought this really gorgeous swimsuit at the mall today.  wish i could use it, lest it be a damn good waste of money.

i have a pretty filled up social calendar full of people dear to me yet strangers to my family.  the friends i have who my family trusts are either miles away, married, or cannot be contacted. tsk. people move on. 

so should they, i assume.

but the thing harder than raising a child, is raising your parents.