when loneliness strikes
is it even remotely possible that a self-confessed commitment-phobe suddenly finds herself in the middle of nowhere, and utterly alone?
yes. no. maybe.
what causes this untimely, unlikely phenomena called loneliness? for sure it is not the lack or absence of a significant other. it cannot be said that it is the loss of friends, most specially if her social calendar is so full that engagements are always overlapping. it cannot be blamed on the detachment from family because they are a tight bunch anyway.
is it the lack of receiving: chocolates? flowers? ‘i just called because i wanted to hear your voice’ calls? ‘just checking on you’ messages?
is it the lack of giving: chocolates? flowers? ‘i just called because i wanted to hear your voice’ calls? ‘just checking on you’ messages?
nah!
what is it then?
Ihanap nyo nalang ako ng date! para magka-alaman na.
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anyway, i had a pseudo-heart-to-heart talk with a seemingly confused friend. this happened yesterday. amidst all her rantings and confusion, there was a point in the conversation that seemed to alarm me (with regard to her current situation.) It was quite short but it went like this:
friend: minsan nga iniisip ko, panget ako eh.
me: nge. hello? bakit naman?
friend: eh kasi, bakit wala akong boyfriend?
me: ako, bakit? pangit ba ako?
friend: hindi.
me: gusto mo ba pag may nagkagusto sayo, mukha mo lang titingnan?
friend: shempre hindi.
me: tanga lang yung mga yun.
anyway, in this short conversation, i got to thinking. sure i don’t have a very significant significant other. not for the longest time. is it cause enough for me to be lonely? hell no. it it cause enough for me to lapse into depression? not either. is it cause enough to get myself in stupid situations? maybe. hahaha!
then live.
depression is different from loneliness. and if for some reason you do get into a very sticky web of a situation, live. enjoy what you had. enjoy the moment. don’t get into any more unnecessary invlovements, especially if it could jeopardize your relationships with those dear to you.
chin up. walk on. move on. and, dear, don’t cry. call me.
